Special Ops Mission Week 1

I recently joined a website called Operation Fat Blaster looking for more motivation while I attempt to get rid of this weight. So far it's been very motivational. One of the things this website is offering is called Special Ops Mission. Each week the site owner is giving us a "mission" and once we complete it we go into a drawing for a prize. Since I love free stuff I thought I'd give this week's mission a try. So, what is the mission? To post about what hurdle/challenge we need to overcome in order to succeed. We were also asked to post a picture.

So, within a second of reading the mission I knew the answer. My biggest hurdle/challenge is ME! Yes, I love ice cream, fried chicken and pizza, but I also love spinach and chicken and fish and fruits and veggies and hummus. I don't mind eating healthy, in fact, I rather prefer it. So, the only thing standing in the way of me doing that is me! I could say it's the ice cream, but I ultimately make the decision to eat it.

The next part of my mission was to post a picture. I hate having my picture taken, so finding one of me is difficult. I started sifting through my pictures and found this one. I felt so good on this particular day. I just had a new haircut that I liked and I felt pretty. Then I had this picture taken and realized I didn't look as good as I thought, because I was still fat! This picture also came out really blurry. I thought it was rather ironic because most days I feel like I'm living a little blurry. Kinda like I'm not living each day to it's fullest potential. I struggle most days trying to figure out who I really am and who I want to be. Unfortunately, the only thing standing in the way of being me is me, well me being fat I guess.

So this completes my first Special Ops Mission. I hope that in the coming weeks and months the only thing standing in the way of me reaching my goal is NOTHING! I know with time I will learn to love myself right where I'm at and the space I do take up will get smaller.

Back in the saddle again

Well, it's been a veerrryyyy long time since the last time I blogged. Shame on me. I think about blogging almost everyday, but seem to run out of time. I'm dedicated to making the time each day to blog a little something. A lot has happened since my last blog, but I won't bore you with all the details. Here are a few highlights, as I can remember them:

Last week the kids and I attended our churches version of VBS. Our church is over 30 mins. away so I agreed to help so I wasn't driving around for 3 hours spending money. Well, I got talked into teaching a class, Bugs and Butterflies. A lot of preperation went into teaching the class and in the end I'm so glad I did it. Monday afternoon I said I was never doing this again, but by Friday I was planning for next year. The kids were sooo tired! I have never seen my son as tired as he was at the end of the each day. They learned a lot about God and had fun doing it. I think we're all looking forward to next year.

We took our family vacation at the end of June. We rent a cabin up North and my dad and his wife join us. This year the boys went up for a few days and the girls hit Door County. We bought some cherries, took a trolley ride and enjoyed the scenery. The boys, however, had rain, wind and cold. The weather broke long enough for them to enjoy their fishing guide, which my step-mom and I bought our hubbys for Father's Day. They caught 300 bluegills and were in fish heaven.

I joined a 9 week Biggest Loser challenge right before vacation and lost 10lbs. Brent and I have joined another 9 week challenge together. We're finishing week two tonight. So far we've both lost 4lbs. I'm so excited to have lost this weight. I know I have a very long way to go, but this is the longest I have kept weight off since I was young. I'm still enjoying exercising, but I need to do it more often. I'm hoping once the kids are back in school I'll have more time. However, I'm trying not to let lack of time deter me from exercising. It's hard though. I recently joined a group online that I'm hoping will help to keep me accountable.

Speaking of losing weight, I want to start a weight loss blog, but I'm too lazy to start a new blog. Plus, I'm easily confused and I'm afraid if I have two blogs to manage I'll end up posting weight loss info here and family stuff on the other blog. So you'll be seeing some weight loss posts here as well...lucky you!

Emotionally I've been struggling a little bit. Mostly with feeling comfortable in my marriage. I'm holding on to the past and need to let go and let God. I had a total "God moment" yesterday. I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out how to get my husband to change so that I no longer worry. I just haven't found the right words. So yesterday when I opened my email I found an email from Family Life. They are offering a free DVD about forgiveness if you send them a donation. Here is a little of the email: You'll learn the secret of releasing the offender from your courtroom to God's justice - How to follow Christ as a debt forgiver and hostage releaser - And it goes on from there. Those two things stuck out to me like a sore thumb. I am holding my husband in my courtroom...whew, that's a tough one to let go. Also, I feel like I'm holding my husband hostage as well as my emotions and the possibility of forgiving and letting go. Lots to work on but I want to do it, which will make it easier. I love it when things just fall into my lap like that.